The Sunday Independent

Rights of dads enshrined in legislation

AMANDA MALIBA amanda.maliba@inl.co.za

THE scourge of the absent father or deadbeat dads in South Africa is said to be the reason why many children grow up in poverty and end up becoming delinquents or young drug addicts.

However, not all fathers willingly turn their backs on their offspring as is the case with 32-year-old Mpho Mazibuko (real name withheld to protect his children) from Pretoria, who is currently fighting a custody battle with his ex-wife.

Mazibuko says he wants access to his two children but has alleged that his ex-wife was using their children as a weapon to “deal” with him.

“Access to them is a form of reward. For two years, seeing them has been a nightmare, even though I provide for them financially. For example, we would agree that I will get the kids on (a particular) Friday and tell them this when speaking on the phone but come Thursday night or Friday morning, an excuse will be found for us to get into an argument and my kids will be kept away from me.

“She keeps saying that if I want to spend a weekend with the kids, I must leave my house where I’m staying with my current partner, who is heavily pregnant and go home so that the kids don’t see her.

“I have told her she couldn’t hold me to ransom using the kids or dictate how I should live my life,” Mazibuko said, adding that he was close to giving up the fight and giving her full control over the kids and he will see the kids when they are older.

Mazibuko said being denied his children has pained him so much and that Father’s Day had become a day filled with pain for him.

“What’s sad is that it brings back memories of a friend I buried earlier this year who killed himself because his ex-girlfriend was denying him access to his kids. Being kept away from his kids became so unbearable for him that he felt the best thing was not to be in this world.

“The thought of Father’s Day fills my heart with pain. It’s as though someone has pushed a knife deep into my heart and keeps turning it to maximise the pain. The saddest part of all of this is that they will only know their siblings when they are adults and won’t grow up together.

“I should be looking forward to the birth of my child but knowing that the kids will probably meet each other as adults breaks me to my core.”

The issue of dads who are being denied access to their children is prevalent in our society and yet ignored by mainstream media because it doesn’t suit the current narrative about men, according to Isaac Moselana, a family, commercial, cyber and entertainment law attorney.

But Moselana added that fathers were vulnerable too and get frustrated if they were being prevented from having access to their children.

“Most of these men do not know where to go for help, the institution of the family advocate is not known to them. Those who are able to go to the family advocate, the mother does not show up for the mediation and the recommendations sent to the clerks of the children’s court are almost never made an order of court,” he said.

“Those that have parental agreements and the mothers still refuse contact, the SAPS refuse to arrest the mothers despite the Children’s Act stating that it is a criminal offence to ignore a parental order.”

Moselana further added that it was the maternal family that, in most cases, decides the terms for a father to have access. Terms such as “damages” and financial position of the father are considered and when they (fathers) cannot fulfil those, they are refused access to children.

“There is the Children’s Bill which will finally give the family advocate more deciding powers when a mother does not attend mediation, but as long as the police still claim that they cannot register violation of a parental plan as a crime, mothers will do as they please,” he added.

He urged fathers should familiarise themselves with Section 21 of the Children’s Act, where the rights of fathers are listed.

Moselana is available to assist fathers who need help and can be contacted on Twitter @ZacMoselane.

METRO

en-za

2021-06-20T07:00:00.0000000Z

2021-06-20T07:00:00.0000000Z

https://thesundayindependent.pressreader.com/article/281685437803569

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